I FINALLY GOT A TRANSGENDER WEDDING INQUIRY
Transgenderism is a hot topic in America, not to mention polarizing. In my opinion, it’s also extremely confusing, and I’ll tell you why in a second. But, before I do, let me lay down a little 411 on myself, so you know exactly where I’m coming from. My company will marry anyone. I don’t care if you’re a Latter-Day Saint Reformist and want to marry 10 women, we’ll do it. I don’t care if you want to marry your sister or 1st cousin, we’ll do it. My company actually did marry two first cousins, surprisingly enough. They were a couple from Saudi Arabia, and apparently, in that country, it’s a normal thing. And even more surprising, I found out that it was legal for someone to marry their 1st cousin in Hawaii and 18 other states! If you’re wondering, those other states are Alabama, Alaska, California, Colorado, Connecticut, District of Columbia (not a State, of course!), Florida, Georgia, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Vermont, and Virginia. Also, my company will marry anyone if their marriage is considered illegal. Back when same-sex marriages were considered illegal, we did them! And, during Covid, during the lockdowns, we still married people. When we had to ask for vax cards, to be vaccinated, guests were limited to a certain amount, and wear masks, we stuck the middle finger to the government and didn’t follow one rule. And guess what, we were right about the COVID mandates. They were just made-up bullshit.
So, as of today, March 31st, 2025, I haven’t done a single transgender wedding (to my knowledge). Who knows, I may have, but I honestly don’t care. But I did “sorta” get my first transgender inquiry from another planning company. And, I’ll say it straight-out, “It was not good, and I had to say no.”
A few days ago, a mainland planning company wanted to hire me to plan a transgender wedding for them.
“No problem!”, I said over my cell, I was on my way to a wedding.
The mainland coordinator started to describe the wedding, “Okay, so the Bride wants a flower lei, bright colors, and they don’t want flowers.”
“One more time?” I wasn’t sure if I was hearing them right.
“The Bride wants a flower lei, bright colors. She may even want a bouquet. But yeah, they don’t want flowers.”
“But you just said, they want don’t want flowers”, I repeated.
“Yeah, they don’t want flowers. But the Bride wants a lei and bouquet, bright colors”, I could hear the frustration brewing in the coordinator’s voice – but I was just confused.
Then it clicked, “Oh, so they is a singular person! I get it”
“Yes! You get it. I’m also looking at my list here. They also are looking for some restaurant recommendations. It’s really important, but they are vegetarian, but she is not. But they were wondering if you could recommend somewhere with a good fish and steak menu, because they may have guests coming too. Oh, by the way, they are also allergic to carrots and beets.”
I had to be honest, “You know, I’m really getting confused here. Like I said, I’ll marry anyone, but this they pronoun stuff is making my head spin. Who is they? The guests? A groom or a bride? Is this a same-sex wedding or not? Can we just call them by their names?”
The coordinator said sternly, “We are a LGBTQ friendly company and make it a priority to use the appropriate pronouns!”
“Yeah, so are we. But this is my first transgender inquiry. And for logistics sake, can we use names? I don’t know who is allergic to carrots, or who gets what lei. I think I need a flow chart to follow this conversation.”
“Are you mocking me? My couple?”
“Of course not.”
“Forget it. You’re like the rest of them!” the coordinator yelled and then hung up the phone. At that moment, my comedic mind realized that she had used “them” as a pronoun. Was she talking about all of the Hawaii coordinators or just a single transgender Hawaii coordinator?
So, here’s my opinion. If you’re a transgender who insists on using they/them pronouns, use your name instead. It’s so confusing and mistakes are bound to happen.
Steve Young
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- OPINION: TRANSGENDERISM AND WEDDINGS - April 1, 2025
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