MOVIE REVIEW: Noah – I honestly have no idea

on March 31, 2014 at 1:42 pm

Is Noah a great movie? I honestly don’t know. For the first fifteen minutes that I could tolerate, I can honestly say it was boring and not worth my $11.50. I dozed in and out for the first fifteen minutes, and then I finally got up, left my friends, walked to the box office to ask for my money back. When I got there, there were three or four moviegoers that were already doing the same.

I did read excerpts of the movies script awhile ago during production. And from what I read, the movie was filled with heavy environmentalism, and strayed greatly from the Biblical story that I had been raised with. I’m not sure why Hollywood always feels the need to mess with the original. This just wasn’t an interpretation of the the biblical story of Noah, it was a rewrite. To me, rewriting the story of Noah is as sacrilegious as turning the Mandarin in Iron Man 3 into a wannabe actor. It’s as bad as adding Jar Jar Binks into Star Wars.

As someone who has worked in the movie industry before as a screenwriter, I can tell you that the rewrite of the story of Noah was done intentionally to mock Christians, and to mock the Bible. Hollywood wears its anti-capitalist, secular views, and environmentalism proudly on it’s sleeves. Criminals always have board meetings, are bankers, or their some rich guy who wants to drill for oil. Avatar was a hippy movie about saving trees from the “evil” Marines. Likewise, Hollywood’s version of Noah was about God flooding the earth because man had abused and mined it’s resources barren.

If it sounds as though I had something against Noah before seeing it, nothing can be father from the truth. I actually wanted to see it and enjoy it because I thought many critics who slammed the movie prior to seeing it, would be wrong. Well, in this case, they were right. It was pretty boring, at least for the first fifteen minutes. To me that’s too long. I did hear that it picked up in the middle. But to me, that’s way too late. If you can tolerate longer than fifteen minutes, there’s a slim chance you may enjoy the movie.

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Steve Young

THE BIG MAN at Dream Weddings Hawaii

I pretty much do everything around here, from photography and video production, to the organization of all of my weddings. As you can see, I'm also the head writer too! If for some reason you can't reach me at my direct line, or my toll free number, feel free to hit me up on my company cell at (808) 479-0685. Call anytime...well, almost anytime. Don't call on Super Bowl Sunday or when the Philadelphia Eagles are playing!