I’m a recent fan of “The Bachelor” franchise. A good friend of mine got me interested in it and I’ve been tuning in for the last few years. I actually have some loose ties to “The Bachelor” franchise as I had the opportunity to photograph one of the Bachelors years ago. Cool dude, forgot his name – haha. Actually I know who he is but it’s a secret. But he’s very cool. They are just regular guys. He paid me a really nice compliment too. He said the photoshoot with me was one of the best he’s been on. And he shot with a lot of big name people!
Anyway, if you’re not a fan of the show, let me clue you in on what happens. A very eligible bachelor or bachelorette gets a chance to find love by dating a plethora of good looking smart contestants. The process takes around two months and The Bachelor/Bachelorette is expected, not forced, to propose to the woman/man he or she falls in love with. The world of The Bachelor only exists in reality TV. Afterall, what type of person would be okay with being in an open relationship with 20 plus other people? And what type of individual would be okay with being proposed to a few weeks after their dream lover sleeps with two other contestants? It truly takes a special person who can compartmentalize relationships and operate without any jealousy. But of course, jealousy, personal agendas, all come to fruition and that’s where ABC gets their drama. And oh boy, is their drama.
This year, Arie Luyendyk, went into The Bachelor with an open heart and tried his best to find love. He opened his heart to almost every contestant, compartmentalizing each relationship as though they were individually unique. His open heart left him with a major dilemma because in the end, he truly fell in love with three women. It was so bad, even his parents couldn’t help him make a choice. They, his parents and family, loved both of the women they met.
In the end, he chose one woman and proposed to her. But after the cameras turned off, and TV reality shut down, he realized he made a mistake, broke off the engagement and chased after the runner-up.
America overreacted, predictably. The women contestants wrongly labeled Arie as a manipulator and Lauren B, as a victim. Crazy talk in my opinion. Currently, there’s still a lot of hate for Arie for backing out of the relationship. All unjustified.
It just shows us how silly a large portion of our population is.
But what does “Bachelor Nation” want? For Arie to get married to a woman he doesn’t love? As fans of the show, we all want the best for Arie. And if his story took a turn that was more dramatic, then just let it be. What’s with all the hate and death threats. It’s not your life…seessh.
Being a wedding planner, I’ve seen a lot of broken engagements. And the hardest broken engagements happen during the wedding planning process. I talk to many women and men, who are so excited about getting married. Then out of the blue, their wedding is off. But the worst broken engagements happen on the day of their wedding. I have stories to tell you about brides leaving their groom at the altar or grooms getting cold feet. It’s horrible, it’s embarrassing. It’s not a nice sight.
Arie broke off his engagement a month and a half after the show ended. In real life, that’s not that bad. That’s actually very good. If a man or a woman can’t see a future with the person they are with, why drag it on a day further? Repeat, what Arie did was very good. Yeah, watching that breakup on TV was brutal. But what breakup isn’t brutal? It’s a lot less embarrassing than getting left at the altar. Let me tell you that.
What many of the angry fans of “Bachelor Nation” don’t understand is the process of the Bachelor or Bachelorette is surreal. Even with good relationships, engagements don’t come after 2 months of meeting a person, and a just a few dates (some with other people). Most of my clients live together for years, buy a house, have kids and then decide to get married. The Bachelor franchise screws with everyone who takes part in it, including the audience.
I truly wish the best for Arie and Lauren. They’ll be in my prayers for some time. And hey, if they ever choose to elope or maybe just get some photos in Hawaii, I hope they choose Dream Weddings Hawaii! But you wouldn’t know if I married them or took pics of them or not. As with all my celebrity couples who used my services, my lips are shut.
Steve Young
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