DONE WITH MY COLD!
The doctor of weddings is back and kicking

I had a nice long week of basically resting at home and catching up with all my weddings. I have to say, it was great having a week off from weddings! But I'm glad to report that I'm all caught up with all but one of my wedding video edits! Now I bet some of you are wondering why there would ever be a backlog wedding videos.

Well, the reasons are different for many couples. But one of the most common reasons why videos don't go out as quickly as I'd like them to is because wedding couples don't get me their "growing up" pictures fast enough. I just have one more couple whom I'm waiting for pictures on...a-hmm...Deanna and Nick...hehe....

So during my week off, I've also been working on my secondary wedding business. I really can't tell you what its all about yet, but you'll hear about it by next year. I also had time off to address the subject of wedding planning rather bluntly in front of a group of wedding planners and brides in Hawaii. I was invited to speak because many planners wanted to know how I manage to coordinate over 100 weddings a year. (The average coordinator plans 12) Let me just say...there were a lot of boos....to say the least. I would say the majority of wedding planners objected to my philosophy, but most brides who were there, loved it. See, when I am asked to best describe the business of wedding planning, I told the audience "Wedding planning is nothing more than glorified order taking and order placing. We, as wedding planners are nothing more than fancy cashiers, or waiters who knows what's good on the menu."

You should have seen the wedding planners who were just OUTRAGED at my comments. Some yelled out to me, that they are much more than cashiers, as they provide emotional support to the bride. Another yelled out that they make sure that their vendors arrive on time. And another wedding planner babbled on about a story of how she saved the day for one of her brides.

I smiled and addressed each enraged wedding planner one-by-one. To the wedding planner who said that provided emotional support to her bride, I commended her on that. But I told her, that was just her rising above her planning responsibilities. Truly, emotional support for a bride is best left to the family, not the planner. To the wedding planner who said they make sure their vendors arrive on time. I was asked, "Do you make sure your vendors arrive on time Steve?" I answered, "No, I don't." There were boos. Then I answered, "It's because I deal with professional who always arrive on time. I don't have to double check on them at all or ever. They do their job well, and that's why they get my business...next question."

The last statement was from a very big-headed wedding planner. She told the audience of a story of how she saved her brides from numerous disasters. Her first story consisted of a bride who had slipped on her bridal gown, just to find out, under normal daylight, it was see through! The bride panicked, called up the planner, and the planner rushed down to Walmart, to buy a slip for her to put on under her dress. Disaster diverted, wedding saved.

I asked the planner, "So who recommended the dress designer?"

"I did", the planner bragged. "She's great."

"But she created a see-through wedding dress, she can't be that great."

"Well, she's just starting out, so I wanted to give her a chance."

I smiled, "So let me get this straight. You referred a bride to a designer who is truly not a professional. That was your referral, ultimately, your mistake. You were not saving the wedding day by buying the slip for your bride, but actually fixing your own mistake. If you had referred the bride to an experienced dress designer, none of this would have happened."

The planners went quiet, but the brides in the back of the room cheered my response.

The wedding planner retaliated at me immediately though, "Well, what about the wedding I saved when I had to help the photographer get all the right poses down for the wedding?!!"

I asked, "Did you refer that photographer to the bride?"

"Yes..."

"Was he professional?"

"Well, he did great work, but he's not polished, but...if it wasn't for me..."

"He's not professional. That's why you had to tell him what to do. You as a wedding planners primarily responsibility is ordering the best off the menu for your couple. Not ordering stale fries, and trying to fix it up at their table with ketchup", I said. "I hate to say this, but because you bottom fish for your couples, I wouldn't recommend you to any bride. You need to get the best...that's all."

I ended my little speech about wedding planning with a polite applause from the wedding planning crowd, and a loud applause from the brides in the back of the room. I guess the attending planners didn't like what I had to say. Aside from preaching about the definition of wedding planning, I preached about the importance for planners to understand the importance of small weddings, and the economical trend towards couples wanting to elope. Too many planners were still pushing couples to plan "gala style events," some even telling me that they though it was feasible to re-fi a house to get a wedding done. Ughh...

Anyway, what can I say. I am quite sure I didn't win any more respect within the wedding planning community here in Hawaii, but I did win the business of every bride that attended.

Steve Young

The Wedding Guru
http://www.dreamweddingshawaii.com/