A sad thing happened this month. The DLNR, the Department of Land and Natural Resources, or as I would like to call it, the Department of Losers and Natural Retards, is out to ruin yet another one of Hawaii's thriving industries....the wedding industry, and we can thank, socialist, Laura Theilen, for spear-heading the stupidity.

Here's what happened. The State passed a law a few years back to require permits for anyone conducting business on the beaches of Hawaii. This would include anyone who opened a surf-school, kayak rental company, or was invovled with the wedding business. The entire purpose of the permits were not to make money for the State of Hawaii, but to preserve the enviroment of the beaches for all the public to enjoy. There was one problem though that arose. Who and which business would get these permits?

Well, there weren't many surf schools or kayak rentals out there, so it was easy to limit the number to a handfu of companiesl on all beaches. But when it came to the robust and thriving wedding industry, there were just too many businesses which would apply. So the State put the beach wedding permit law aside, and everyone went on their way...happy.

But that was then. In steps Laura Theiland.

Since communist Laura took hold of the DLNR, she has managed to stifle almost every major industry in Hawaii. At one time, Longshore fishermen were able to make a living in the State of Hawaii. But the DLNR, said that our waters were off limits to Oahu based fisherman, as they were damaging the enviroment, endangering whales and dolphins...when of course, they weren't. So, out of business goes the longshore fisherman, and in steps the Japanese and Chinese fishermen, who basically out fish our population, because they are immune to laws from the State of Hawaii... So Laura killed the fishing industry here. But it gets better.

We once had a handful of inter-island cruiships here. Well, the DLNR decided that the cruiseships were causing too much damage to the enviroment, and now...we only have one inter-island cruise ship. Nice job....

Oh, but were not finish. Just recently the DLNR successfully halted the business of the Hawaii Superferry, a magnicant ferry that would interconnect all the island with each other. Laura decided that dolphins were too stupid to move out of the way of a fast moving boat.... So, the Superferry almost went out of business, and may still go out of business, if a EIS (Enviromental Impact Statement) finds the Superferry harms the enviroment. She's too stupid to know that Dolphins play in the waves the ferry, or any boat. Just because Laura, the communist, struggles to get out of the way of fast moving object, doesn't mean that they are losers like her.

Yes, so Laura is at it again, trying to shut down, yet another harmful industry...the wedding industry. Her plan is simple, to require all weddings, on all beaches, even those outside her jurisdiction, to get a permit. The minimum amount spent on a permit is $20 dollars (the larger the space used, the more expensive). But, the wedding coordination company would have to pay for 1 million dollars worth of insurance. Yikes. So that basically puts up the permit cost to around $150 per couple. But even that's not the problem. The problem is what the DLNR would eventually do. Right now, they are saying, there is no limit to the amount of permits given out.

BUT THE DLNR, IS ALL ABOUT REGULATION. THAT'S ALL THEY DO. THEY REGULATE.

So eventually, they will limit the number of weddings that can happen on a beach at a given time.

Now, I quized a DLNR employee, on this entire permiting process candidly, off the record.....(but it wasn't off the record really). I just told him that to get some info from him. I asked him the following questions. Here is our converation to the best of my knowledge....

Does the DLNR eventually want to regulate the amount of weddings on beaches in Hawaii?
Yes. Once the permit system is set up and running, it's only a matter time till we limit the amount of beach weddings that can take place on any state park or unencumbered land

Does the DLNR have jurisdication over unencumbered land?
Not really, only over State Land. Most beaches in Hawaii are city and county land. But some beaches have state parks in front of them, so we are requiring a right-to-enter permit. So that's how we plan to get around that.

So in a way, you are charging a fee for land you really don't own.
Yes, I guess we are.

And you're trying to evntually regulate it.
Yes. Pending an EIS report on certain beaches, we will most likely regulate the amount of weddings on a beach. There are some beaches that are having too many weddings happening on it, and people are complaining.

In my life of doing weddings on the beach for the past 5 years, I've only seen one person complain about a wedding, and she was some old rich hag, who tried to break up a wedding at Lanikai. Only one complaint. Everyone else enjoys it, and most locals. It's the haoles that come in and hate...you know that...
Well yea...but they have a right to hate...

True, this is America, you have the right to be an asshole I guess.
No response

So say in the future, you have this one beach, that can only have 10 permits per day. Who gets those permits?
We haven't figured that out yet. But most likely, first come first serve....

Wouldn't that stifle competiton though? Now couples would be forced to book with wedding companies that have those time slots. What if they are quack companies?
That's not our problem. Our problem is the enviroment

Interesting. So what if I do luck out and get one of those permits for 3pm...but it rains, and my couple wants to move to another location. Can we?
If there is no permit for the other location...no.

So they have to do their wedding in the rain.
Look, I can't answer all of these questions. We're not even sure.

But the DLNR is planning to break up weddings without permits right. So you have to be sure of which ones to break up right?
Kinda. Look...I'm can't speak on behalf...

How about if I have a permit for a 3pm wedding at Magic Island, but all the permits for sunset are with another company. Will couples be forced to use those companies?
Ahm....well, yeah. It looks like that's what would happen. We are already forcing people to use the Kayak rental companies that have permits, there is no compeition there. So when we will regulate the weddings..yeah, couples will be forced to use only companies which have permits

And you think that's right...to stifle competition? Isn't that communistic?
(looks left and right) Look, I don't like it either. To me, hell yeah it's communistic. It's stupid. In fact, I don't know anyone in the office who has the balls to break up a wedding and be that asshole. I feel the same way you do, as with others here. It's the board, the boss, it's just a mess. But they are going to ruin th wedding industry if you ask me.

So I struck a cord with this guy as he walked off from his smoke break. He disagreed with their communist leader. I find it so strange that the DLNR believes that weddings can cause a horrible impact on the beaches. But what about the homeless people who sleep, crap, and piss on the sidewalks of these beaches...not to mention, litter and harass tourist. The DLNR doesn't care about them. They set up camp cities on the beach, make it scary for locals to go to the beach, deal drugs, rapes women, eat dogs, and they can do it all without a permit...and all Laura can think about, is regulating weddings because weddings are the problem.

SO WHAT NOW FROM HERE?
It looks as though for now, I'm going to have to tack on a $150 dollar permit fee for weddings. And then, I'm probably going to keep doing business until they start regulating...and then, I'm probably going to have to close my doors like many other wedding companies in Hawaii. I can tell you one thing. Those companies that get permits on the beaches, are very much deep into politics...campaign contributions, and what not.... I'm not ready to play that game.....

There is a lawsuit that may be pending in the near future to stop this permitting process..but well see what goes on.

ISN'T OUR STATE STUPID?

So you're probably like me. Driving around town, throwing up your arms, wondering where your econmic future is headed. Let me be honest with you. I'm scared. Yes. And for the first time in my life, I truly am not confident in our economy. I'm gonna lay down the facts for you right now regarding Hawaii's tourism industry, more-so the wedding industry. We've been hit hard. I drive down Waikiki these days and it's the summer, and it looks empty. I talk to a few of my friends who own shops in town, and they are hurting. Our government says that tourism is down 5% or so, it's a complete lie. It can't be down only 5%. ATA and Aloha airlines went out of business and airlines cut 20% of their flights to Hawaii in the last six months. Conservatively, I say tourism is at least down 30%, reastically, I say it's down 50%.

As far as the wedding industry is concerned, we're down about 50% as well. Lucikly, I'm one of the few businesses that are keeping their head above water, but there are many that are folding up and going home. But I'm scared because I can see what's around the corner...and it's not pretty. And the wedding business is a great barometer of what the future holds. Let me just spell it out for you, if brides don't want to spend money on their wedding, that's a big problem.

At the moment, it is an average of about 527 dollars for a RT from Los Angeles to Honolulu, and about $831 dollars from JFK (New York) to Honolulu in mid-september. These are extremely high prices for september. Usually, you can get about 250 dollars rt tickets from LAX to HNL, and 480 dollars, from JFK to HNL. Prices have literally gone up 100% regarding travel packages, and oil is currently at 147 dollars per barrel of oil. It oil hits 200 dollars per barrel, these prices will most likely double. We could be there tomorrow, we're only a hurricane away from that...another war conflict, another terrorist attack. If it's not tomorrow, we'll hit 200 dollars per barrel by the end of the year. The bottom line, It's getting too expensive to come to Hawaii to get married!!!

IT'S A PERFECT STORM...

THE HOUSING MARKET
The housing market is adding fire to the down turn in the economy. Banks and lending instiutions are going out of business. Contractors are going belly up, homes are being foreclosed on, investors are drying up. People are running out of money. People are who were heavily involved or associated with the real estate industry are becoming unemployed.

THE STOCK MARKET
It's crashing. Fannie Mae is worth 9 dollars. Fannie Mae!! I could never imagine Fannie Mae ever reaching single digit value. People are losing their 401K's. This is scary folks. See, when the internet bubble burst, I could understand that. These stocks were inflated, trading at 300 to 500 times their earnings..or no earnings...and there was no intrensic value to their stock. But these stocks that are going under, are truly not that bad. Money is fleeing good solid companies, and that's a problem.

U.S. CURRENCY IS GOING DOWN DOWN DOWN
Our U.S. Dollar is worth half of what it was two years ago. This is a major problem. This means that the world market, investors, don't feel as though the United States is a place to invest in. It also means that gas prices are twice as what they should be because the oil price per barrel is based on the U.S. Dollar.

INFLATION ALL-AROUND IS HIGH , WAGE ARE LOW.
I'm happy to report that I'm not contributing to this statistic, but everything is getting more expensive. It's not just gas. Everything. Corn, milk, eggs, everything. Everything is getting more expensive, but we're not getting richer.

PEOPLE ARE LOSING THEIR JOBS
GM just laid off more people today. Starbucks is closing down shops. Banks are going belly up. Is your job secure

THIS IS JUST FOR HAWAII...BUT THE STATE WILL START TO REQUIRE PERMITS FOR WEDDINGS
So this is great news, yeah right. The State of Hawaii will be requiring the need for permits to conduct commerical weddings on "State" beaches. This truly isn't a problem for me because my weddings happen on City and County beaches. But this is scary, because the state ultimately wants to limit the number of wedding that will happen on ALL beaches. Who gets these permits, who knows. It will practically ruin the wedding industry in Hawaii though...

SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE AND FOR ONCE, WE NEED THE GOVERNMENT TO TAKE THE LEAD....

I know this sounds funny, because I really don't care for the government. They can't do much right. But they better do something right...soon, or else we'll all be hurting. We need the government to stop playing politics, stop pointing the finger, and do something.

Harry Reid, senator from Las Vegas, and Obama, and many of his democratic friends say that we should not drill for more oil and focus on creating a new form of energy. But this doesn't make any sense to me. If we were back in the1900's and my horse carriage got a broken wheel, the solution would not be to invent the car. It would be to fix the wheel. Inventions are great, they are long term fixes...and god, I would love an electric car like the tesla motor car...but hey, I, like you, own a gas car. Everything is powered by gas. Lets fix the gas problem...geez. And as far as drilling goes. Drill...drill everywhere! Obama, like many of the democrats don't understand that gas companies will lease acres of land, and only use 1% of this land because there's no oil there in most of the leased areas.. There's no gaurantee that there's oil on the land that they lease. They, the democrats blame the speculators for the oil prices. Yes, that's true. But speculation will also bring prices down. Drilling for oil, may only bring prices down by 10 cents or pennies per gallon. But that's not the point. Speculation, is done on pennies. When companies beat earning estimate, they beat it by pennies, and the stocks dramatically rise or fall on those penny estimates. Stocks trade 10 to 2o to 300 times earnings...same goes for oil. A penny rise or fall, will go a long ways.

I know this post is really off base.... BUT IT'S ACTUALLY NOT. This really does concern a romantic wedding. This does concern my company, and your possible wedding in Hawaii in a few years. If nothing is done, my business may not be here. Hawaii's economy will be trashed. You may not have enough money or a job in the future. The is serious stuff

Lets get by all this rhetoric. I was talking to my friend the other day, and all he could say is that "This is George Bush's fault." Okay...fine, if it is..it is. I asked him, "Okay..so now what?" Nothing. He had no solution. Just someone to blame. Then he blurted out "Iraq war was for oil..." Geez...I wish it was. Start pumping.... now... But we're not getting a drop from Iraq.

Look, George Bush, is an oil guy...he knows about oil. He predicted what is happening when he first took office. Congress held it up. The Democrats held it up. Enviromentalist held it up in the name of global warming. What did he want to do?

• Drill for more oil in Anwar, off of florida, everywhere.
• build more refineries
• create coal ethanol
• build more nuclear power plants
• create one federal epa standard for fuel

Obama, the democrats, want none of that...they dont' want this because they fear that man will make the earth warmer, and we can't survive in a warmer climate. And they still are preaching this. They don't want any of the above...they want to reinvent the wheel...and that would take years. By the time that happens, it'll be too expensive to fly to Hawaii. But they are fine with making you poorer in the name of making the planet cooler... You may even lose your job in the process, but not to worry, Obama wants to create "green" jobs..... seesh...

What's the point? Who you vote for the end of this year, could determine if you get married in Hawaii. Obama takes office, I promise you...it'll be too expensive for you to come to Hawaii. Prepare for the 2000 dollar ticket to Hawaii. McCain, has at least somewhat of a plan to drill, nuke power, and to cut gas taxes. Everything hinges on gas right now. Everything.

Obama, democrats, don't want to do any of this because they "care" about the enviroment. Yes, Obama, Al Gore, who have 30,000 times the carbon footprint of us, pollute more than us, don't even follow what they preach. They say it's okay because they pay "carbon credits" which offsets their footprint. What it really means is that if you're rich enough, you can pollute. Hypocrites. Know who you'll be voting for. Know the man behind the rhetoric and what and how he'll truly affect the economy and the wedding industry in a negative way.

What I can only hope for is this. We drill, we refine more, we get nuclear in our energy. We create a great electric car meanwhile...we do solar, we do wind... we do it all, and we do it soon, or else, we won't see any weddings in Hawaii's future.