You know, my phone has been ringing a lot lately. Not with wedding inquiries, for some very obvious reasons. This economy has been slowing down, and traveling to Hawaii to get married just hasn't been on many people's minds right now. But as of late, my phone has been ringing with offers to join wedding or business associations. "They will tell your customers you are legit..." they say.

Complete hogwash.

These associations may have started off with the greatest of intentions, but they have all been corrupted, and they just don't do their job HONESTLY AND WELL...

Lets start with the problem with my business. There is a company out there which is stealing my name, and will not stop. Their name is "A Dream Weddings Hawaii." They basically add an "A" in front of my name, and make weddings "non-plural." I have asked the owner, Captain Ken, to stop using my name, and he has just hung up his phone on me. Luckily, one of my wedding couples is a federal trademark lawyer, and will help me resolve this problem. "A Dream Wedding Hawaii" has not showed up for a handful of their weddings. How do I know? Well, because I am listed in the phone book under Dream Weddings Hawaii, and they are not..because they can't be...their name is too similar. Wedding couples call me from the pay phone at the beach, yelling at me, where is everyone!!!! They ask for Captain Ken...and of course, I have no idea what's going on.

So now you have one very pissed off wedding couple. And, they want to complain. So they call the Better Business Bureau. Well, they only find me there...since "A Dream Wedding Hawaii" is not a legitimate company. And they file the complaint under my company name.

Here's where the corruption comes in.

IN STEPS THE HVCB

HVCB, the Hawaii Visitor's Convention Bureau, tells tourist that any member 0f theirs is a business that is reputable, and one in good standing. "A Dream Wedding Hawaii" is a member of the HVCB. I contacted HVCB, to tell them that "A Dream Wedding Hawaii" was using my name illegally, not showing up for weddings, and dragging my good name through the mud.

Their response. "It's not our job to police businesses. But we can offer you a membership."

My response. "Wait a minute. One of your members is obviously a crook, ripping off wedding couples, not paying taxes under that name, and operating illegally..."

Their response, "That may be so, but it is not our job to police businesses... A Dream Wedding Hawaii has been a member for 3 years."

But on HVCB's website and through advertising, they say that HVCB members, are businesses of those in good standing. Apparently, they are lying. All they care is their yearly membership fees...all they care about is money, not you, the bride. The verdict, just because a business is listed with the HVCB, does not mean they are legit. All it means is that the business paid a yearly membership fee....that's all.

What did I do? I ended up joining HVCB to drive business away from A Dream Wedding Hawaii....

SO IN STEPS THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU

I call the Better Business Bureau to actually tell them, "I am not Captain Ken, and that A Dream Wedding Hawaii, is not my company. That is a rogue company....and I have nothing to do with them."

Their response. "Well, we can note that in a rebuttal, but your complaint will have to stay."

"But it's not with my company!!!!"

"It is...Captain Ken didn't...

"There is no Captain Ken that works here!" I tell them.

Then they do the unthinkable... They offer me membership and leave the complaints on their website.

The Better Business Bureau, unfortunately, is just another membership based organization. Pay your yearly fee, you get the right to paste a sticker in your window to give customers the false security that you are legit. They don't care about what's wrong or right. They just care about money.

Now many think that HVCB and that the BBB are government organizations. No, they are not. They are independent non-profit organizations. 501c(3)'s......which is what they are legally called. They make money purely by recruiting businesses to joining their organizations.

WHAT'S NEXT FOR "A Dream wedding Hawaii?"

I WILL SUE A DREAM WEDDING HAWAII, if they keep using my name. And I may sue them for damages, since they have been dragging my name through the mud.

ARE ALL ASSOCIATIONS CORRUPT? PRETTY MUCH...check this out

• I got a call from the Hawaii Photographer's Association once. They offered me membership, in return, I would get an award for my photography. Nice.... So pay some cash out, I can an award.
• I got a call from the Professional Photographer's Association. If I took a handful of classes over 3 days, submitted my work, I could then call myself an official professional. Hmm... So if I just paid for 3 days of seminars, I could call myself a professional photographer?
• I got a call some Wedding Planners Association. If I took 3 days of courses, not only would I get to call myself a "certified wedding planner.." I could would also get a certificate of excellence...even though it didn't matter if I planned one wedding or not.

The verdict: Don't trust any vendor, just because they belong to some big name association. Don't trust any photographer, who says brags that they are award winning. Don't trust any planner who brags that he or she is certified...and other's aren't.

How can you tell who knows what they are talking about?

• If they are a photographer...Look at their portfolio, and look for consistency. Look for pictures that are not touched up. Ask them about their philosophy of photography, and how they would shoot your wedding. Ask them how did they get that shot. If they have no idea...they got luck. What should their answer sound like? Something like this. "Well, to get this shot, I metered off the background, and used a strong flash to bring in the background. Now notice that flash is not too strong, to drown out the whites, but at the same it's enough to not get a silhouette. Also take in mind the horizon. I added an angle here to imply motion..." That's how their answer should sound like
  
• If they are a videographer...Ask them one question. "How do you tell a story with moving pictures? " If they can't answer the question, dump them. Videography is all about capturing the story of their wedding day. Videographers is not just about hitting the record button and knowing how to operate video equipment. Next, look at their work. Make sure all of their work, doesn't look the same!!! Too many videographers do the same shots over and over again. They shoot the bride putting on the earring, zipping up her dress, the groom getting his tux put on by his best man, they hug... and the bride grabs the bouquet from her bed and walks off... They all do the same thing..... Video for weddings are documentaries..they never should be posed, or scenarios created.... We leave that for fictional movies....
  
• If they are a wedding planner.. Ask them, how did they get into the wedding business. Most wedding planners fell into it by helping a friend, helping a church, or working for a catering company. Some are like me...they've been around the wedding industry long enough to know what is right, what is wrong. Then, ask them, what is a wedding planners job.... Truly, wedding planning is GLORIFIED order taking and GLORIFIED order making. But they won't answer it that simple...
  
  It is not the responsibility of the wedding coordinator to make sure vendors show up on time. A wedding coordinator doesn't have to worry about that if he or she hires out the right people....
  
  It is not the responsibility of the wedding coordinator to pick the right shots for the photographer, or videographer...it's the job of the vendor to do that.....
  
  It is not the responsibility of the wedding coordinator to put out fires... It is the responsibility of the vendor to put out the fire. I remember one time, my DJ forgot his vinyl records at home. No problem. He took out his IPOD, and played music from there. The couple didn't know the difference, neither did I. Professionals put out their own fires.
  
  The wedding coordinator is responsible for a few things. To hire out the right people. To make sure the wedding runs on time, and if a little late, to get it back on schedule. That's all....

I hope this helps. As a general consumer rule. It's not just wedding associations that are complete hogwash. It's all associations...for all businesses.. Do not think for one minute, that just because a restaurant got an award for their food in a magazine, and is a preferred restaurant....doesn't mean it truly is a great restaurant. More than likely, that magazine recommendation is a paid advertorial.... or advertising/editorial.........

Be careful out there!!!